Sorry for silence. There are moments when you want just to be invisible. I do not know why it happened to me. Or probably I do know. I told you that for long long years I lived in a kind of my world where everything was mine and life consisted of separated episodes not even connected to each other. Suddenly it turned into one long routine with a very tense schedule… I am not free anymore. Every second I think of something stupid. I can’t escape even when I have  spare time. But the most terrible thing is that I am bad at... At a lot of stuff. I had a new job and somehow I was sure I would be a brilliant worker… Hehe.. But actually I forgot how to communicate to people when there a lot of them simultaneously and when they are teenagers. So, I am turning into a witch. They are starting to hate me. It kills me since it was not my intention.

Anyway, your msgs touched me, and I am very grateful you are always near. I don’t know how to express it but I want u to know that I’ll also be around even sometimes I’m getting invisible

tat   

Yesterday when everybody slept I came out to the balcony. It was almost physical happiness – I just looked at the sky, at the clouds that is a big rarity here … this feeling just grew and grew and I almost cried. I always want to cry especially when I read Salinger at night. There are some ridiculous thoughts – I suddenly wanted to live in the basket… I am so happy when nobody controls me…

You know recently something went wrong. I mean my family life. I can’t explain it and (may be0 I don’t want… I know it’s unfair to tell u about such stuff… but sometimes I think I’ll … don’t know….