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August 31 forever never happens... so...I read a piece of novel I thought you might like it, so I try a bad translation of the translation (it's Goethe, from German into Italian, into bad English):
"by chance, is everything we do, done forever? Don't we get dressed every morning to undress at night? Don't we start a travel, to come back one day? I wonder why we shouldn't desire to stay beside people we love, even for just one century"
the girl, talks about the opportunity to be buried beside somebody even if not forever. But in her heart (and in the authors mind) it's clear a desire which can't be fullfilled probably for the whole life, but maybe, just for a while.
Problem is: is better deep sadnass after a strong good feeling, or the constant desire for something which will never be?
I'm jelaus of your teens... i thought they were KIDS! ;)
LiLa August 30 and againI told U I was starting to work with high school teens. That’s strange. Suddenly, out of the blue, dozens of new people appeared in my life and filled me with their emotions … I forgot what it means to work in the middle of the crowd since all my life (apart from working with mentally disabled people for 2 month) I stayed alone at work. Nobody expected me to play any roles. Now I have to. The very big plus is that I can lose my identification of a moody girl-dude and know that I have the right to do it. Job demands, haha… August 20 add pictures to a blog entry- go to our online photoalbum: http://photobucket.com - log in with username lilatat and password the same that we use here in msn ;) - there, you just have to upload the pictures you want to use on the blog - when you upload a picture, you will see under the pict the html code ready to copy and past in the blog, just copy that code (something like: <img ...... >; - open a blog entry, push the buttom "HTML", it's the last on the right, near the smiling face; - no you are able to write HTML code directly in the entry, so PASTE here the code for the picture; - push again HTML to come back to "simple" editing, you should see the picture inside the entry, and be able to modify it also (make it bigger/smaller and move it...) - add text, before or after the picture... and publish the entry ;) Gook luck ! LiLa It’s not even a depression…It’s not even a depression… since there is a kind of pleasant crumbs of self-masochism in there that gives you (sometimes) not bad ideas… what I feel is tiredness ..plain and even not fatal …it reminds me a nightmare fairy tale – everything I touch now turns to routine… I am writing …(it seemed to me that I had a right plot) but it appears to be a shit…I am trying to bring up my child and myself but I do so many stupid things that I look even worse than countless mums that sit in front of my house on benches… The belief in the sparkle, a kind of stuff that will make me
“druggie" for a while and “broaden the consciousness” without any
serious consequences for my “normal mom/wife/ citizen image” is
weakening… sorry for the absence of good and right words for you..they
will come in time..may be. Tat to my dear IT blondy ;)Tat, LiLa August 18 summer night lonelinessI like night. Especially summer nights. It's because of the color. because of the smell. there is a special magic ingredient in the night, and you can just feel it when you are alone. in the dark. in the silence. don't u miss being alone? i do. i do, even without a person next to me. lately, i'm not alone anymore. i'm just without nobody. there's a big difference, you know.... when you are alone, you can feel the others. the loneliness of the people around, which can be shared. when you are just with nobody, you don't feel anything, cause you want to break the magic night silence. ... i can't help it. i can't manage to feel alone.not anymore. or at lease, not ad often as it has been in the past. LiLa August 13 an old idea... ab better future....I might have somewhere still that e-mail, with the crazy idea of something written by both of us. How many years passed.... how many things... but today I'm not in the mood of being nostalgic... you know what? I was going to the beach, driving my car and thinking to the things I don't like. I've wondered what I would change in my life, to be more content, but I couldn't find an answer... there was a time when I wanted to come back and live again the past. Now, not even that. So my decision: I'd like to have a better future, at least. I'd like to do things I've never done... maybe I will start with what I told you yesterday, who knows... ;)) No more cries. I'm tired of my dry tears. I'm tired of myself, at least of what I became... LiLa Talking about this could be a beginningI’ve just thought about time, place and age… if this idea was born 8 years ago, I would have believed in angels -) now I’m okay but this okay is rather confused… the head is empty..no, it’s not empty it’s even worse – it is full with rubbish and worries. I hate worries…. Oh… it can outline the first question of this strange place – why people do wrong things knowing they are wrong… I am starting to solve the Bible riddles.. about the people who saw G-d but did not believe him till the end…
So, where am I? to put honestly, I ‘ve always dreamed about a blog, but somehow it did not happen till your coming.
The only pleasant news for today as the rest of it was wasted on the cleaning of my den.. the result is not inspiring-(
Tat August 12 this could be a beginningok, this could be a start... just to make practise... when u become expert, we start...  we can make albums with pictures (gosh, not ours... or at least let's use the old ones  )we can write, choose 2 different style, colors, categories... other ideas are welcome dear! |
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